From a friend...

Take me back...

I remember hearing this on an old 45 when I was a little boy.

RESOLUTIONS?? GET REAL! DO IT MODIFIED!

I LOVE this video SO MUCH!!

TOTS AMOR TO JONNY MCGOVERN, NADYA GINSBURG and EVERYBODY else who made this! I've got my TaB and leg warmers. It's time to half a** some Jane Fonda on VHS.

For your random pleasure!!

Welcome back, everybody!!

きゃりーぱみゅぱみゅ - つけまつける Tsukematsukeru

I'm back and I bring you my favorite Ginger!

Old Gregg

-------
Howard: Got something. I've got something! Ha! Come to Papa Moon. That's it, come on. (grunts)

Old Gregg: Hi there.

Howard: Who are you?

Old Gregg: I'm Old Gregg. Pleased to meet you.

Howard: What do you want?

Old Gregg: Maybe I should ask you the same question. What you doing in my waters?

Howard: Just taking the air, you know. Not fishing!

Old Gregg: Then how come this hook's in my head, fool?

Howard: It's nothing to do with me, sir.

Old Gregg: It's attached to your rod, motherlicker!

Howard: Don't kill me, I've got so much to give.

Old Gregg: Easy now, fuzzy little man-peach, hmm? You ever drunk Bailey's from a shoe?

Howard: What?

Old Gregg: Wanna come to a club where people wee on each other?

Howard: No?

Old Gregg: I'm gonna hurt you.

Howard: Excuse me?

Old Gregg: I like you. What do you think of me?

Howard: I don't rightly know, sir.

Old Gregg: Make an assessment.

Howard: I think you're a nice, modern gentleman.

Old Gregg: Don't lie to me, boy!

Howard: I'm not lying!

Old Gregg: I know what you're thinking. Here comes Old Gregg, he's a scaly man-fish. You don't know me. You don't know what I got. I got something to show you. (bright light shines) You know what that is? That's Old Gregg's vagina. I've got a mangina! I'M OLD GREEEEEEEEGG! (Echoes)


(at Gregg's place)


Howard: What's happening?

Old Gregg: I'm Old Gregg.

Howard: What?

Old Gregg: I'm Old Gregg!

Howard: Where am I?

Old Gregg: Gregg's place. You've been asleep. Do you want a little drinky? I'll get you a drink. You like Bailey's? Mmmm... creamy. Soft, creamy beige.

Howard: Mmmm... delicious.

Old Gregg: Do you like Old Gregg's place? I've got all things that are good.

Howard: You've done some nice things with it.

Old Gregg: I've got this. This is good.

Howard: That's nice.

Old Gregg: You can have it.

Howard: I'm fine, thanks.

Old Gregg: I'll keep it here for you.

Howard: Well, is this the way ... out? Uhm, I better be scootin'. Got meetings and a friend of mine is waiting, so perhaps I should be...

Old Gregg: Why are you going? We got everything we need here. We got Bailey's... creamy. And everything we need. I'll get you another Bailey's.

Howard: I'm fine, thanks.

Old Gregg: I do watercolors.

Howard: Do you?

Old Gregg: Let me show you something. I call that one Old Gregg. And then that one I call Old Gregg. And this one, you know what I call that one?

Howard: Old Gregg?

Old Gregg: Yes sir, thank you sir. I got some more. I got these too. That one's Bailey's. That one's Bailey's a bit bigger. And that one's as close as you can get to Bailey's without your eyes getting wet.

Howard: Mmm, that is quite a portfolio you've got going on there. But I really should be heading off, so it's been good.

Old Gregg: We could do some watercolors together. You and I.

Howard: Well, that sounds like great fun. Let's do it in the week then Gregg.

Old Gregg: What do you mean?

Howard: Well, you free Thursday at all?

Old Gregg: Why can't we do it now?

Howard: Well, you know, I'm a busy man, Gregg. You know, I got things to do. Howard Moon, man about town. (laughs awkwardly)

Old Gregg: Do you love me?

Howard: Oh dear.

Old Gregg: Do you love me?

Howard: Umm, gonna have to pretend I didn't hear that, Gregg.

Old Gregg: You think you could ever love me?

Howard:Uh, it doesn't really work like that, Gregg.

Old Gregg: How does it work? Tell me how it works.

Howard: Well, you get to know someone, you hang out, you see where that goes. This, that, the other, eventually... you know. I don't know you!

Old Gregg: You know me, hmm? What about the boat times?

Howard: That wasn't really a time, was it, Gregg? That was more of just a... an exposure.

Old Gregg: That was our first date, hmm? You pulled me up with your strong arms!

Howard: Oh dear, look, Gregg, I don't know you!

Old Gregg: Oh, you know me. You've seen my downstairs mix-up.

Howard: Yeah, I didn't ask to see that, did I?

Old Gregg: What did it mean to you to see that? Did it mean you love me?

Howard: No, It didn't.

Old Gregg: Could you learn to love me?

Howard: No, I couldn't. I don't love you!

Old Gregg: You do love me.

Howard: No, I don't!

Old Gregg: You do love me.

Howard: No, I don't.

Old Gregg: You love me and you've seen me and you know me. I'm Old Gregg!

Howard: Yeah, I know you are. You've told me 89 times now.

Old Gregg: You must love me exactly as I love you.

Howard: Well, I don't love you and to be honest you're starting to get on my nerves a bit now. If anything I find you slightly pathetic, so deal with that!

Old Gregg: Maybe I will deal with it. Hmm? Maybe I'll deal with it the way I dealt with Curly Jefferson!

Howard: You know what Gregg? Maybe I was being a bit hasty there, uh, when I said I didn't love you. Perhaps now in this light with you in the tu-tu and the water playing off your... seaweed. Maybe I could love you. Maybe I was lying because when you do love someone sometimes you say you don't because you're playing hard to get, playing a game.

Old Gregg: Games?

Yoda's WHOLE Name

Source: Today I Found Out